Because You Are Mine

Posted by on May 17, 2012 in Bug & Bear, Faith | 6 comments

Because You Are Mine

I’m watching Bug and Bear run through the sprinkler on our back patio. The whole thing sums up rather nicely the polar opposites that they seem to me to be most of the time. Bug is charging through the most intense surge of water at full speed, screaming at top volume. I mean, charging. It’s full of energy, joy, passion, abandon, boldness. Bear stands by watching, smiling. She sits at the very edge of the spray, out of its reach but gingerly reaching just the tips of her fingers into a bit of mist. She’s having a blast, but it’s reserved, full of observing, sensitivity, care, caution.
















They are so very different. They are incredibly different from each other, but one bears many similarities to me in personality and temperament. Naturally, I guess, the one who is more like me is just easier for me to understand… I get her, understand her needs and feelings, know what to do to soothe her or challenge her or help her. The one who is not so much like me is generally considered my “easier” child, but for me, it’s less apparent what she needs from me to really develop into herself, the unique individual she is designed to be. I find myself having to try a little harder and pray a little more to know how to meet her needs.

One day I was talking to my friend about my polar opposites and the unique relationship I have with each of them, and  she mentioned an article recently printed in Time Magazine about mothers really having favorite children after all. My friend suggested that maybe this idea of “getting” one child a little more easily is what people are experiencing when they favor a certain child over another. I think so. I read the article and didn’t much care for it.  I don’t feel like I favor the child who is more like me… now some days she makes me feel more competent and successful at mothering, but I value my other baby just as much for her uniqueness and differences.  The one who is not so much like me means so much to me because she is not so much like me… and for that reason she has inspired me to develop parts of my personality that were stagnant, to rely heavily on God to find my identity as her mother, to love and embrace people that I may not have previously understood.  The person she is just amazes me. How did she become that way? I know it’s not because of me, I just see God’s design all over her. How could I ever choose a favorite when each of my girls is so uniquely herself?


Dear Bug,

You are energetic, joyful, passionate, bold, brave. You are full of love, mercy, and compassion. You inspire me to love people more, to leave my comfort zone of reserve and caution, to live with a little bit more abandon. You challenge me and teach me about God… I ask Him every day to help me see you, to help me develop the uniqueness in you, to show me how to be the mother you need, and every day I see Him show up through you and our relationship and I’ve never known anything like it. But none of these are the reasons I love you. I love you simply because you are mine.

Dear Bear,

You are observant, sensitive, careful, intelligent, wise. You are full of composure, femininity, and quiet strength. You make me feel loved and competent and like the only mother in the world who could ever have been meant for you. You teach me about myself, let me see that so many of my ways are just innately and uniquely built into me and that they’re good. I’ve never known anything like it. But none of these are the reasons I love you. I love you simply because you are mine.


For me, one of the most amazing things about being a parent is getting a tiny glimpse into what God’s love must be like for His children.  I think the love we have for our children gets us just a little bit closer to understanding those things of God that are so hard to fathom, like unconditional love, undeserved grace, unearned salvation.  My love for my children is a constant reminder to me that I can not make God love me more by being good or love me less by being bad, but that He just loves me all the time, more than I can imagine, simply because I am His.  It’s the way He feels about all of His children.  He loves us and values us for our uniqueness.  I think people can forget that sometimes, and start to think instead that God loves best those who are most like Him.  The criteria for judging who is most like Him can get reduced to those who appear to serve in church the most, or read their Bible the most, or know the rules the most.  I think when we start to think that God loves certain people more, we have missed the whole point… that we’re all His favorites, that Salvation came for the lost and hurting, that we can love those who are different than us, that He loves those who are different than us.  He loves us all simply because we are His.



Bug and Bear ~ My Two Favorites



  1. So beautiful, so honest, so true…thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks, Susan!

  2. Wow!!! That is so good! As I read it I thought of my 2 boys and realized the one more like me has been more challenging. They both are perfect for what I need. Thank you for sharing about your girls and your relationship with them. Since I know you and your girls, I know you love them equally!! Those pictures are just perfect!!

    • Thanks, Shari!

  3. You have a beautiful mother’s heart and that gift is so evident in Bug and Bear. Love you.

    • Maybe I got it from my beautiful mother 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2012-2018 Under Construction Paper All Rights Reserved